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font-family:方正小标宋简体;mso-hansi-font-family:方正小标宋简体;mso-bidi-font-family:方正小标宋简体">晚文字漫谈——端方
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0pt">(根据文字内容整理)
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">2014* J5 g/ a7 m; Z K/ Z: m
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">年8月12日
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">地点:/ C# I i8 V: r$ a( Q4 V8 b7 Hmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老秘网“文稿修改演播室”(QQ群号:366351120)
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">主讲:0 M0 G, J( Q; C$ ^mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">杨苏
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& W3 c" H: z- i* {4 `7 _" `) j楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">具体内容:
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">一、对一篇汇报材料的讨论
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font-family:黑体;mso-hansi-font-family:黑体;mso-bidi-font-family:黑体">老猫:某市美丽乡村创建工作情况汇报,大家帮某同学推敲一组标题,如何?
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$ D7 Y" F: f3 |; b/ Y' b' |line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">( a7 ]5 m. s0 J1 j"Times New Roman"">(一)立足转型强村,打造宜业乡村。
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"Times New Roman"">(二)坚持“五水共治”,打造宜人乡村
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">魅力乡村,幸福乡村、宜居乡村、富裕乡村之类的,我的意思是用一根线串起来,让这组小标题形成一个整体。0 h9 ~; P! f* \& Hmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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: r/ n" g, O m2 Q) w3 C. r' ?4 V5 [楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:# g; C1 _! k/ V" P( ^$ A% emso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">标题分两部分,前半部分亮手段(做法),后半部分凸显成效。四个乡村的思路不错,但内容上缺少支撑,建议再从内容上面抓取下逻辑。另外,感觉题目不足以体现内容。! W U' l2 A: P- Z/ r8 h [" kmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">霞光:0 L- H$ I, b! b o' _6 T1 fmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">民生保障作为出发点,惠农增收作为增长点呢. ]1 z2 o+ ]: `8 @mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">,4 x$ o ~$ n3 A4 ?& B4 k. u$ o
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">杨苏:9 L1 C9 ~* w- T$ S; d3 x5 w' u% J2 E% V% `mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">感觉民生保障包括很多方面,不只是宜居。宜居一般是和生态环境放在一起的,民生保障一般和和谐、幸福搭配在一起。: o4 }; l, c |( a( R5 e* G
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2 _# E9 B3 K( [楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度:/ f. ~8 b- `) x' ~& f4 fmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">顺序调整一下,环境放最后。不知道第一点内容。! a+ w, }5 D) m F; a& j: q
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">一、三任书记接力干,一张蓝图抓创建3 ^4 {7 E7 R6 d0 v) k& J$ |9 p0 @font-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
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宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、政策支撑强保障。- n# J9 e! `5 h# Z仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、健全机制促落实。0 ^+ i- x% s- E' \, }仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">二、十年时间抓整治,美丽乡村显成效1 s* o( q% [& A/ j4 b3 t- B, `font-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">(一)坚持把转型强村作为美丽乡村建设的! j4 X! Q& M. @4 F' n; o# n
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">“2 C- j5 F$ b1 @mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">重头戏3 q: j# x6 a: jfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;. \6 Y4 {4 @, \/ t- W7 s& b
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">,乡村发展水平有效提升。: s2 A/ q0 z! \
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、产村联动促增收。2 ^" }7 m2 C3 G$ Jfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">多万元。二是发展物业经济。针对区位优势明显的村,通过农村集体建设用地开发和项目建设,盘活土地,投资发展集体物业项目。如城西新区小东陈村,通过与相邻: ~6 ]5 e- x; O: U& [mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">46 K8 h1 W6 e* U: y9 k14.0pt;font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:
8 Z' j1 C6 v2 x! `, v8 e宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个村联合建立五星社区,集聚人口3 E& G% o# R0 Mmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">2500% m( n9 t; q* i& D* f
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">多人,盘活建设用地7 S" ~4 w ^7 p, O
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! ~: K/ N9 o% z3 m$ u& S宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">万平方米,建设城西物流中心,实现村民、企业、环境的. g" W$ W* ~7 U" f& {mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">“4 S5 r6 H2 ?& @. j* }" Q" V2 P14.0pt;font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:' l. f- c& K7 ~) i! Z
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">:一般正文里不用一是二是三是的吗?- i3 I! u# Y+ M4 b' L" A
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">用是可以用,问题不在这里。这个材料感觉像是工作总结,挂了个美丽乡村的头,较牵强。+ ?" W+ R: O' s3 J p+ E" Hmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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G7 h% _0 @5 o! r楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:$ I2 E; B) `: D0 t
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">那没有,美丽乡村建设也包括这些内容的,而不仅仅是村庄整治。) k e$ ]5 l; C+ Y* o& {. @' Hmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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4 p& D& n( C6 @0 H% n p6 X1 K) g; r5 M楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:/ N% f* d7 Z' _. z Hmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我不是这个意思,美丽乡村汇报也好,生态乡村汇报也好,这些内容都可以用。一个汇报材料第一是基本情况,第二是对于创建活动本身的相关情况汇报,第三是做法,第四适当点点问题。当然,问题也可以根据实际情况不点。至于你的措施,应该是结合本情况来的。而且此提纲里,做法没有必要分这么多层次,容易造成逻辑上的混乱。你先要明确出这么几个重点。比如,要说转型,你想表达的转型是什么转型,怎么转型,转出什么成效,结合美丽乡村落到优化产业结构上比较好。+ G' m( y) z4 ] \- G6 D( X
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. V1 G! q/ J7 e% b8 ~1 R0 L0 k楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:: [/ q; @# w' l' Z1 y
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我内容太多了是嘛?' R0 G ?4 S2 _: w3 H! h* imso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不是多,是乱了。我看完的体会是包罗万象,但具体内容看完却记不住多少。! L8 Z" m9 f, o) X
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" U0 `/ a6 x. U {9 M2 ?% b* `' p楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">飘雪:8 R6 M; H r2 h: {$ gmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">层次可以简化,什么都想说,太杂了。: d+ D" w M; l) C& n5 K# m' Emso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:: ^1 g+ Q- l& l) @8 zmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不过不是不能说,要理顺一下。举个例子来说,就用猫总凝练的题目(一)坚持把转型强村作为美丽乡村建设的: v( U4 }# Q9 C$ m
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宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">,乡村发展水平有效提升。这个标题要写,要明确围绕的中心是转型强村。效果是乡村发展水平。对应转型强村找内容。- ]* q/ h0 Y) H2 e6 M0 j3 kmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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1 f9 _( W; l" J' H楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:! Z0 E- l( K9 i% M* ?0 z ymso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">那我把内容归纳一下,第二部分就点明五六点重点内容。) |6 O9 { u+ i% ]
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">内容不在于多少,要说出亮点与特色。大家都在创建,为什么选你。因为你创建的有成效,亮点多,做法新。$ }& \& [5 ~ o& Z' D, j; Dmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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# v7 @6 m ?5 ?' L$ Hmso-font-kerning:0pt">号同学你这是典型的观点加事迹的写法,要把材料融会贯通,并从中提炼观点。6 ^; y( p Z7 Umso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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! p+ R- R; V& M' U! e" e- b& [mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我发表一下个人的想法,有以下几个方面的建议:一是老秘并不了解学员工作的具体环境和具体情况,如果要这样一对一的修改,是需要花费一些时间慢慢对接的;二是就本文来说存在一些逻辑问题,可能是在撰稿之初就犯了一些逻辑性错误,观点(小标题)是根据内容提炼出来的,而本文的小标题对仗工整,乍一看给人的感觉是比较好,但一看内容就有点文不对题了。例如:第一部分,作为乡级政府谈何政策支持?乡镇有制定政策的权限吗?# k$ L3 R9 @7 p7 j& B K: m0 l. z- w
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我们是县级市,不是乡镇。% F1 V* I9 k3 w8 |mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级,包括地市级都没有制定政策的权限,都是贯彻落实上级的政策。此外,从文章的提纲看,二级标题不能囊括内容。" u8 w$ q/ W S& pmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">即便乡镇没有制定政策的权限,但也可以出台一些举措,比如以奖代补,纳入考核。这些可以归入政策层面。: `4 V" U- i) }mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对,这个问题我同意。而且这也不是核心问题。核心问题可能还是逻辑架构上。我觉得晓斌对转型可能没有理解透。* Q9 Y9 m; O# u6 q+ a' K; B
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">石子云:: n: u5 f% m, d, \& @1 Q1 a" a7 tmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">@39. a4 w* U- | z3 n. \- ymso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">号同学胡晓斌 k9 K. Y: I5 g* P B
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">——剖析材料的写法。. ^2 I5 k! A' q! {
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/ }& s5 T, _& ?& f% G7 [* P& ?mso-font-kerning:0pt">二、列提纲、明思路1 T- t$ _& c! k. ]
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9 \+ Y4 _, h+ ^6 U楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:* \- T9 ]' r) Q! ?" Q" r8 b, G, a9 Dmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">在刚才讨论的基础上,我想谈一谈关于列提纲的一点体会。我所理解的提纲就是动笔之前想好的内容,材料的骨架,也是我们通常所说的谋篇布局。+ S$ C1 k: v+ }$ e1 W# mmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:如果反过来,写加强社区制度建设,对93向社区制度进行梳理,非常平,看不出什么特色与亮点来。
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! p' b2 s; B, M2 P楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">铁树凝:需求为王,刨树刨根,循此,深挖,梳理片段,轮廓,佐以素材,碰撞,修正思路,揉融观点素材,思路为纲,纲举目张,终是符合有关要求,才算好。
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9 F7 O L! y, ^- F! Z楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">飘雪:总之写作很难,难在何处,之一是思维。
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( f8 s/ v6 c. p, r y楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老猫:好标题的灵感从哪里来?老猫的体会是从段落内容中提炼,从个别字词中联想,从上级文件中生发,从参考资料中化用,从交流碰撞中偶得。